The Last Stand of Carbohydrates

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We spoke earlier this week about our unscheduled trip to the grocery store due to poor dietary planning on my part. But, what was coming down the pike for today was an even bigger trauma - today is the last "real" trip we will be making to the store. Like, ever. The ultimate food funeral is about to commence.

In 10 days, everything changes. Lor enters her pre-surgical liquid diet, and I pass into my "baked chicken and steamed vegetables" phase. (Unlike some members of the household, I have no problem eating the same thing every day.) While Lor is dealing with the low energy and food cravings of the all-protein-shakes-all-the-time-diet, I am showing solidarity by making sure I don't eat anything Lor would find amazingly tempting.

It's either that or eat in the garage.

Accordingly, Lor is working diligently over our meal planning for the upcoming week, making sure that she inserts healthier versions of our previously favorite meals into the menu. It is still critically important that we maintain the < 45 grams of carbs per meal cutoff, so we don't end up sabotaging ourselves in the process. Weight gain before surgery is a no-no, But, we are still going to be performing one last week-long food funeral, albeit a low-carb one.

It is simultaneously exciting and depressing - never again will I eat sausage lasagna, but I also am able to bend over and touch my toes for the first time in about 20 years. I will never enjoy a few beers again, but I will be able to shop at stores without a "big and tall" section. In life, we make choices. Bad choices got me to obesity, good choices will hopefully return me to a healthier life. It is as simple (and as complex) as that.

In the meantime, we're off to the store for our final week of not protein-centric grocery shopping, One last blaze of glory before life turns into all protein shakes and yogurt, all the time. Everyone have an awesome weekend, and we will catch you all here on Monday.

Regretting That There Is No Such Thing As A Low-Carb Chocolate Cream Pie,

- Hawkwind

Funeral for a Food

Yes, it actually looks like this in real life.

Take a traditional Italian "Apple Cake". Drown it in caramel topping, then surround it with piles of whipped cream decorated with chocolate shavings. Top the entire thing off with a scoop of Cinnamon-Mocha ice cream, and what do you have? Scarpa's Torta di Melle, one of our favorite shared desserts here in the Duke City. And, as of last night, a dearly departed loved one.

The idea of "food funerals" for those of us prepping for gastric surgery is not a new one. It was even suggested in an online support group as a way to bid farewell to those food items that would be departing our lives after we entered the liquid diet portion of our pre-surgical routine. So, Lor and I made lists of the restaurants and dishes we would miss the most, and decided to do a kind of "bucket list" of indulging in each, one last time.

It is, of course, possible to take this way overboard - one young woman shared with us that she did several food funerals back-to-back the week before her liquid diet phase and wound up gaining 8 pounds. Not a good result. So, we also decided that we would limit ourselves to a total of 2 meals and one dessert during the weeks leading up to the liquid diet phase. Though our decisions in restaurants were wildly different, we both arrived at the exact same conclusion for a dessert we wanted one last time. After last night, we are fondly bidding Torta di Melle 'arrivederci', never to touch our lips again.

Though we saw the restaurants coming, it has been the other food funerals that have been a little more upsetting. The departure of caffeinated coffee from our diets has been well documented here. I am currently looking towards Memorial Day weekend, when I will have my final beers ever, with a mixture of longing and dread. The departure of cereal from our breakfasts was a bit surprising and upsetting - after emptying the last box into a cereal bowl, we suddenly realized that was it: no more cereal. It was so upsetting that a friend suggested that we have a funeral, using the cereal box as a headstone. Things like this keep sneaking up on us and grabbing us when we least expect it. Who knew that food had such a deep and abiding importance to us?

At least I can look back on last night fondly. We had a very nice dessert, in a quiet restaurant, with over an hour of conversation about what the future might hold for us after we had completed our surgeries and began our new lives together. We left hand in hand, probably energized from all the sugar in our systems, looking forward to the many more years together we will have once we have left things like the Torta di Melle behind us.

Still Not Hungry 12 Hours Later,

- Hawkwind