So, for all those who have been wondering - yes, there have been some pretty major developments going on in our lives for the past several months. I know there have been cryptic Facebook posts referring to mysterious classes; sleepless nights; and fear, doubt, and anxiety. We are finally in a position to let the world know what it is we are up to.
We are getting ready to adopt a child.
I know, it seems crazy. We are in our forties, and just now getting ready to move forward with first-time parenting. When most of our friends and classmates are dealing with graduations and weddings, we are dealing with the jitters and nervous exhaustion of trying to prepare ourselves for the first-time introduction of a new life into our marriage. It feels a lot like jumping out of a plane without checking to see if our parachute is working first: breathtaking, exhilarating and terrifying all at once.
A wise friend of ours suggested that we treat the months before the adoption as our "pregnancy" - several months of preparation and emotional adjustment leading up to expanding our lives. We have been doing exactly that, and are now entering our 4th month of "Adoption Pregnancy". We have jumped through most of the hoops required by the State to certify that we are even qualified to become parents, and are now getting ready to start evaluating the children currently in the system waiting for families. It is heartbreaking, in a way - we spend time out on the Heart Gallery looking at all the children in the system and want to be parents to them all. And the Gallery is only one potential site to identify kids waiting to be adopted! We know we want an older child, not an infant or toddler. Other than that, our home and hearts are still open, waiting for that perfect child.
Most of the questions facing us right now are focused around our own adequacy. We are poor. We are kinda weird. We are not cool at all.We are older than normal. For heaven's sake, my brain is broken!! What if the kid doesn't even like us? Are we going to bring a child into our home and have them wishing to move back into foster care inside a month due to our incompetence?
And then, after hyperventilation and nausea have passed, we remind ourselves - mainly what we have to offer a child is love and acceptance. And from our early days with X-Zalt and Chosen through our relationships with our nephews and nieces we have always had overwhelming amounts of both to share with the kids in our lives. We will never be Perfect Stan and Suzie Homemaker, I am afraid. But we can and will provide a child with love and understanding, and a safe and stable place to launch themselves into the world from; and to return to when they need some safety or a hug. And, in the end, that is what these kids in the foster system desperately need.
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, and we will try to keep you all posted.
Wish us luck,