Monday, October 17, 2016

The Expanding Divot

A couple of weeks ago we talked about hair loss related to bariatric surgery - specifically how it was relating to Lor. She went out, got herself a stylish new short haircut, and all has been right with the world since. She has been overwhelmed with compliments - she looks at least a decade younger, and the "vibe" of the new haircut just seems to fit her newly energized personality.

Now, every morning, I find myself looking in the mirror and wondering when the time will come for me to change my own vibe.

My own hair loss is taking a very different pattern than Lor's did. Rather than thinning across my entire head, I am losing hair aggressively in one place - the front of my hairline to the crown of my head. Every day you can see more and more of the scalp beneath, with fewer and fewer wisps of hair left to populate the expanding balding area. My receding hairline is beginning to look like the remains of a forest after a major fire.

I have maintained that this would not bother me - that losing some hair would be an acceptable price to pay for all of the benefits that have come along with my weight loss. In a philosophical sense, this is true - today I am below 220 pounds for the first time, like, ever, and I feel great about that.

But the hair loss is bothering me more than I thought it would. I have zero interest in being the guy with the huge divot taken out of the hair on the front of his head. My hair was already thinning naturally at the crown and back of my head - I am going to be left with a racing stripe of scalp running through the center of my head with two bushes of remaining hair growing only over my ears. I find it very frustrating that I am developing a slimmer physique and a new facial appearance, only to have it topped off with the hair of a man much older than I currently am. I have visions of letting one side grow extremely long then attempting a comb-over to disguise the hair loss.

The really scary part? Hair loss after bariatric surgery is normally temporary - except for men who were already suffering from age-related hair loss. In cases like mine, sometimes the follicles just never start working again to replace the missing hair. The nutritional deficit can effectively kill already slowing follicles.

I have threatened several times to just shave my head entirely and be done with it. I have also been threatened with death and dismemberment by my wife and my mother should I do so. My unhappiness with the situation has not grown enough that I can ignore their objections yet - but the day is getting closer, I think. Even the new haircut solution that Lor employed is not an option for me - a really short haircut at this point will only make me look like I have had plugs implanted in an otherwise bald area. So, for the time being, I just carry on, trying to ignore the ever-expanding scalp taking over what used to be my hairline.

Maybe I will just stop looking in the mirror completely.

Glad I Own So Many Hats And Beanies,

- Hawkwind

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