The Expertise of the Internet

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I spend a lot of time on bariatric surgery message boards and chat rooms, not really interacting a whole lot, but instead gathering experiences and emotions from people who are involved in the bariatric surgery process. And, just like the rest of the Internet, I encounter what seems to be a higher than average ratio of flakeazoids to normal people.

Yesterday presented a good example. A conversation was taking place talking about "dangerous" foods post-surgery. You know, ice cream, mashed potatoes, tiramisu - things that are easy to eat a lot of, even considering a stomach reduced in volume. Then some well-meaning person mentioned the danger of drinking soft drinks or other carbonated beverages - that the stomach pouch/sleeve may expand in size.

And, suddenly, the place went berserk, filled with pissed-off people trying to shout down this poster with comments effectively stating that "the stomach can't expand" and "that's just a myth" and so on. Their source of information? Some posts on YouTube.

I did not get involved at all in this conversation (see: Wrestling With Pigs), though I did feel bad for the helpful poster. But I also didn't bother checking out the YouTube videos. Why not? A couple of reasons. Firstly, the stomach by design expands and contracts. My personal experience tells me that any substance that stretches will eventually get stretched to a size larger than what it began at. (Laundry, anyone?)

More importantly, though, is the fact that the stomach re-sizing is a phenomenon accepted by the medical community at large. Evidence has been presented to demonstrate it, papers have been written about it, surgical procedures exist to correct it. Not to mention the fact that both my surgeon AND Lor's surgeon mentioned the carbonation phenomenon to us during each of our initial consultations. If we are going to ignore our surgeons in favor of the advice of "some dude on the Internet", what the hell are we doing in a doctor's office anyway?

The voices of the 'Net have replaced the phenomenon that used to be known as "some guy I met in a bar". The general premise is the same - if you look long enough, you are going to find a person that believes in something. UFOs, the hoaxed Moon landing, the great government cover-up of Stomachs Not Really Stretching...you get the picture. The problem with the Net is that it is so easy to find someone with a contrarian opinion. And if all you really want after your surgery is a Coke or a beer, you are going to find someone on the Internet to tell you that it is really ok, the whole "stomach stretching" thing is just an urban myth anyway. Problem solved. At least until you discover you've started regaining weight and can't figure out why that might be...

If you are going through ANY type of medical condition, listen to your doctor(s). Yes, perform research as well, get second opinions, perform medical due diligence. But trust your sources. Check out medical credentials, look for published papers, do your research only on websites that are fact checked, etc. Do not trust your health and well being to some guy with a Webcam and some time on his hands. He may be the same guy that goes to bed wearing a tinfoil hat to prevent the NSA from stealing his thoughts. Just sayin'.

Have an awesome weekend, I will catch you all on the other side.

Now, About That Whole Loch Ness Monster Thing...

- Hawkwind

The Summer That Wasn't

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It is the last week of April - usually time to think about things like Mother's Day, the Diamondbacks' position in the NL West (3rd place, at 11-12), and our plans for the summer. This year, our normal plans for summer activities have been thrown totally into chaos and madness by the relentless approach of my Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy surgical date, and all the minutiae that accompany it.

Our semi-annual trip to watch the Rockies play the D-Backs in Denver? Probably not going to happen. Camping trips? Find me a week on my calendar that isn't filled with support group meetings, appointments with the nutritionist or other pre-surgical items, and then we'll talk about heading into the Great Outdoors. Double down on all these dates to represent Lor's surgical timeline, and watch the days and weeks of the calendar fill up. The weeks leading up to surgery are filled with pre-surgical items galore, and the weeks following it will be filled with recovery, liquid diets and restrictions on how much a person can lift. Overall, not a prescription for a fun-filled summer.  

It certainly isn't all bad. To celebrate all the usual parties and get-togethers we would normally have with my family over the summer (Mother's Day, Father's Day, 4th of July, my birthday), we are instead having one "catch-all" holiday over Memorial Day weekend. We will fill it with small portions of foods we will no longer be able to eat, alcohol we will be restricted from for the rest of the year (and my last beers EVER), and everyone's last interaction with Lor and I before our surgeries. Call it my family "Before Picture". By the last day of summer, Lor and I will both be out of surgical recovery, probably back on normal foods, and heading into our new lives together. And the holiday season this year should be pretty cool as well.

And next summer? Next summer will be awesome. All the activities I have held us back from for so long because of my size will now be open to us. We can participate in the Albuquerque 5K Run For The Zoo. We will head to South Dakota to visit our friends there, since I should no longer be miserable during long car rides. When we go camping, we will actually be able to get out into the woods and hike instead of sitting around the campfire. Heck, we might even get on a plane and fly somewhere, since I should no longer be dealing with the problem of taking up 1.5 seats on an airplane. We might even go to Phoenix, to watch some games there - something I currently avoid like the plague because there is nothing more miserable than an obese person in Phoenix during baseball season. Trust me on this one.

All this long term future gained, for the sacrifice of a few months this year. I may not happy about the sacrifice of summer right now, but I would bet dollars to donuts that I will have a very different opinion about things come Summer 2017.

Still Undecided About My Last Beer Ever,

- Hawkwind

The Power of Motivation

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Mornings like this happen to me every once in a while. Normally, I get out of bed and head straight to the blog, full of fire and creative energy.

Today, I sat and stared at the screen, read through a couple other blogs, played some Hearthstone (new release happened yesterday), and just generally dicked around.

What, you may ask, does this have to do with gastric surgery/obesity/health/etc?

On the face of it, not much. But what happens if the thing I am supposed to be doing is not writing, but exercising? Or prepping a meal for the household? Or facing yet another day post-surgery, when it seems like every single person around me gets to do what they want, and eat what they want, while I am so restricted?

How, in short, do I stay motivated?

For a lot of people, photos work. When they are down about what they are having to do to stay healthy, they take a look at a pre-surgical photo and decide they never want to look (and feel) like that again. An example:

Please forgive my low-rent side-by-side. A Graphics Artist I am not.

Later in life I can use BOTH of these as motivators, I suppose. Even at 24 pounds down, I still look like I have a loooong way to go. Maybe I can post this on the fridge wherever I live to remind me to make better food choices. And on my phone, to remind me to buy better stuff at the store. And on my computer, so I won't get lazy.

Emotional motivators work too - many of my fellow bariatric patients tend to use their families as motivators: "I have to stay healthy so I can provide for my family...so I can see my kids grow up...so I can play with my grandkids."  You get the picture. While many of us tend to be a little lazy when it comes to self-care, very few of us can deal with the idea of letting our loved ones down.

Not enough? How about some goal-based motivation? A bunch of people on the message boards and blogs I follow set themselves an athletic event in the future as a life goal demonstrating their success at weight loss - usually a 5K run. Others choose a specific outfit that they want to be able to fit into at the end of their weight loss - a dress, a swimsuit, maybe a tailored suit. (Mine is a pair of 38-inch waistline button-down 501s.) A tangible, measurable thing that can be focused on as the goal. Reach that goal? Awesome - create a new one. You can keep that going indefinitely.

Writers are frequently given the same piece of advice on how to deal with "writer's block": Sit down and write something. When you are lacking motivation, do the same thing - take that first step into whatever it is you are struggling with. The second step will be easier. Same for the third. Eventually, you will have gotten through the very thing that initially seemed like an impassable obstacle. Remind yourself that you are doing this for your own good, focus on your motivation, then move forward. It is as simple (and as difficult) as that.

Now Trying To Find Motivation To Wash The Dishes,

- Hawkwind

Seeking: One Fat Hero

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In the time when I am not gaming, creating blog articles, or reading, I write fiction. Like, quite a bit. Since being fitted with a C-PAP a couple years back I tend to have incredibly vivid dreams, and the last ones before I get up in the morning always seem to involve the same set of characters. So, I have created a mythology of sorts around these characters, and write little vignettes involving them. But, after I woke up and wrote down my notes this morning, it struck me - there are no overweight characters in these stories.

For that matter, I am hard pressed to think of overweight central characters in any story I have read, and I read a lot. I can think of fat and jovial innkeepers, large menacing bikers, and a bunch of lazy and obese programmers - but not a single overweight hero. It is as if the burden of carrying the story forward is so great that it acts like a constant cardio workout for these people, ensuring that they stay slim (or, in some cases, muscular.)

Even the oversized secondary characters in most stories aren't treated well. They are frequently used as a kind of comic relief - a mental visual gag if you will: Let's all laugh at the fatso as he tries to run away from danger. (Example: Any "slasher" horror film ever made.) Other times heavy individuals are used as more sinister characters: the overweight person is too lazy to achieve his goals as normal folks do, so uses treachery instead - the mercenary programmer from Jurassic Park is an excellent example. Very rarely, obesity is treated as a threatening quality - the previously mentioned "huge biker" would qualify. The original "Kingpin" character from Marvel comics comes to mind in this category. (Though a fine actor, Vincent D'Onofrio can hardly be described as obese, so his depiction of the Kingpin does not qualify here.)

In a sense, I get it. When we experience stories, especially when we read, we want to idealize the characters. We want to take their positive characteristics and find them reflecting off the fractal planes and edges of our own lives, hoping to recognize something "heroic" in ourselves. We do not necessarily want to see that which we don't like about ourselves highlighted in our entertainment. But seriously - in the "real world" of the United States more than half of us are overweight. Why don't the demographics of our entertainment reflect that?

More to the point, why don't my demographics hold up? Why are my stories filled with active, muscular men and size 6 women? In real life I like large women - I do not prefer the body style that "looks like a teenage boy with plums in his shirt pockets." (Spider Robinson) So, why am I not creating these characters? What flaw lies in me, and apparently in other authors, that does not allow for the creation of more realistic body types?

I am still troubled by this, and still don't have an answer yet. But, the next time I sit down to write, I know I will be aware of my previous failures here, and hopefully can begin to correct them. Maybe spotting this weakness now, before any of my fiction is ever published, is the best outcome I could have hoped for.

Still Angry At My Subconscious,

- Hawkwind

PS - Just thought of an obese central character: Don Corleone, from The Godfather. But he isn't exactly heroic, is he?

Resistance Training

So, over the weekend, I ended up adding a little extra weight to my exercise regimen. No, I didn't have an all-you-can-eat pizza party last week or anything like that. No, what I did instead was this:

Some background: Vixen, the dog pictured above, has had a very sore butt for over a year now. It is so sore that she will not use the bathroom unless "helped" by taking her for a walk. So, for over a year now, I have been having to walk her every single day. She seems to equate being walked on a leash with taking care of her digestive business, so she spends a few moments in discomfort, then continues on her way, happily exploring the neighborhood. Weird.

Now, before the howls of outrage start, we have already taken her to the vet. Several times in the last year. The vets are just as mystified as we are as to what the problem is. In fact, we are going back to the vet's office today to pick up yet another medication to try on her to see if we can bring her some permanent relief.

Back to the picture above: our walks had typically been just under half a mile - just around the block where we live works out to .44 miles. This has been pretty much the only type of exercise I have been able to do, and even something this minor has tended to take me about 20 minutes, putting me on pace for a leisurely 1.2 miles/hour walking speed. Carrying 300 pounds around any distance is hard.

However, since Lor joined our walks and I started the pre-surgical diet the walks have been getting a little longer (and a little faster) every day. Yesterday morning, we made the decision that we were going to try a new, slightly longer route. Everything was going swimmingly until, at about 1.2 miles in, Vixen sat down, and refused to go any further. She had enough walking for one day, thank you very much.

Undaunted, we stuffed her in the backpack and walked the rest of the way home. I was surprised at how calm she was - just sorta hanging out, watching the sights, no resistance or struggle at all. I was also surprised at how much I felt a 5 pound Chihuahua on my shoulders and back. You wouldn't think 5 pounds would amount to much, but boy, did I know she was there. Guess it is time to start adding some push-ups to the old fitness routine.

If you have a family dog and are finding it difficult to get motivated to start a daily workout, walking your dog is a perfect entry point. Every single day I have had no choice but to get up off my ass and take her for a cruise around the neighborhood. I am allowed no excuses, no "I don't feel like going to the gym today", no other lame arguments as to why I shouldn't get active on any particular day - the dog has to be walked, and that is that. Though I feel bad for her butt-related problems, I am also kind of grateful that this has forced mobility on me all this time - I might be at 350+ if I had not been doing any physical activity at all. Now there is a sobering thought.

Wondering What Will Happen When We Get To 5 Miles A Day,

- Hawkwind

Tools for Success

First off, RIP Prince. He was only 57. Between Prince, Glenn Frey, and David Bowie, my workout playlist is starting to look like the soundtrack at a mortuary. And though I may not have any Merle Haggard on my phone's playlist, you better believe I have some on the PC I am writing this from. Depressing.

So, on to workout tools. We actually have a shiny new elliptical trainer sitting in the front room, just waiting for me to make use of it. Lor gets to use it, but I do not. Why, you ask? Because the stupid thing has a weight-bearing limit of 250 pounds, that's why. You would think that the designers of exercise equipment might anticipate the possibility that fat people might want to use their tools, yes? But apparently not. As it is, I have to lose 30 pounds before I can even get on the thing. The Elliptical Diet Plan: Motivate yourself to lose 10% of your body weight so that you qualify to exercise on our gear. Grrr.

So, instead, I walk. And if you have a smartphone and want to workout by walking, there are two apps you should really be aware of:

1. Map My Walk

This is the primary tool I use for tracking what the heck I am doing in the world of "Fat Man Walking". I tell it to "Start Workout" when I leave the front door, then forget about it till I get back, panting and covered in sweat. Then I tell it to "Save Workout" and I am done. It then uploads a lovely report like the one above to a website for me, so I can track how far/how long/how many/what for/etc.  Using the website tie-in you can also design new routes for yourself, keep track of gear (like shoes, for instance), even log meals if you want to. (But the ads for Light Beer in the food section are highly annoying.) There is also an "MVP" version of the software - purchasing opens up a bunch of new functionality, and presumably removes the Light Beer ads. If you are going to be walking to get started on your weight loss journey, you need this app. No need to buy a Fitbit or anything. (Fitbits don't work with us bariatric surgery patients anyway - our caloric count post-surgery is too low for Apple to make sense of.)

2. Zombies, Run!

Now, if your exercise is a little more free-form, and you like storytelling, this is the app for you. You plug your headphones into your phone, and suddenly you are in a post-apocalyptic world overrun by zombies. The storyline continues as you walk, with pauses in the story being filled by music from the playlist on your device. Occasionally you will encounter threats as you amble through your workout, and you will be forced to speed up your walk/run until you are clear of them. That's right, folks, interval training, cleverly disguised as an app on your phone.  For those that are so inclined, there is even a setup for training a person for their first 5K. With my 2 blown knees, it will be a while (if ever) before I run a 5K, but I can certainly walk as fast as those knees will take me to get away from the hordes of man-flesh-eating creatures on my tail. Not a tool to be used when walking in a group, but the perfect one for solo exercise.

Besides, any app endorsed by Wil Wheaton can't be too far off the mark, right?

Catch you all again on Monday!

Considering Walking The Dog (So I Can Throw Her To The Zombies),

- Hawkwind

The Power of The Menu

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Lots of people - some obese, some in the weight range BMI refers to as "normal" - have asked me variations on the same question: "How are you two doing this?" This is usually followed by anecdotes on how much that person hates counting calories/logging meals/following a diet/etc. In each case, I smile and tell them we have a secret weapon - one that doesn't require any of those components.

The secret? Meal planning.

When we first started this process, Lor immediately recognized a glaring weakness in our household diet. Any time the two of us were too tired or stressed out, we would not cook - we would instead head for a fast food joint rather than have to think about what to prepare for a meal. This did a huge amount of damage to our weights, not to mention our bank account. One day when we were not suffering from low energy, we took action. We inventoried every single food item we had in the house - pantries, fridge, freezer - and then Lor wrote down a series of meals we could make using the items at hand. We had a lot more than we thought we did - almost 10 days worth of meal materials. She downloaded a blank "Weekly Menu" from the 'Net, and assigned a meal to every day for the next 7 days. Done.

And, amazingly, it worked like a charm. We had to make one stop at a local Farmer's Market to pick up about $20 worth of veggies to flesh out these meals, but other than that we did not spend a dime on food that week. No frustration with trying to decide what to cook when we were both tired and cranky - the thinking had already been done. No realization that we had forgotten to thaw something out - every morning when I got up, I checked the daily menu and pulled out whatever we needed for the day. Best of all, at the end of the week we had emptied our fridge and most of our freezer - without having to throw any food away because we had failed to use it! (Something that always pisses me off since we are on such a low fixed income.)

At the end of the week, we called the experiment a success, and Lor designed a new menu for the following week. We went to the store and bought the materials we would need. This cut our usual grocery bill almost in half, by the way, because we were no longer making "off the cuff" purchases. We already knew how we would use every single thing we were buying.

Once Lor hit her first dietary meeting and the Carbohydrate restrictions began, we started using another tool. We added a little Android app called "Lose It" to our arsenal, and began to use it during once-a-week meal planning. It enabled us to figure out what the carb load was on meals that we weren't sure about. We also started substituting in fresh vegetables for things like pasta and rice, which tended to drop the carbohydrate count WAY down.

We really got to see the power of meal planning last week, after our car accident last Monday. The chaos surrounding the accident and the resulting insurance claim, the running around from body shop to doctor's office to dealerships, the exhaustion of concussions and whiplash all meant that we never got around to creating a meal plan. And we paid for it. We must have hit fast food places 5 times in the last week, all at a time when we had no money to do so. Neither one of us lost an ounce over the week. (Neither of us gained, somehow!) But we just couldn't bear the thought of going home after these activity-filled days and designing then cooking a meal. We probably need to have an "emergency" meal plan - a couple days worth of meals that we have on hand to deal with situations like these. Something worth adding to the arsenal.

Total time to prep our meal plan for the week every week? About 15 minutes. It saves you time, money, and the hassle of logging and calorie counting - you already know what your diet will be, and already know what the nutritional info is on the food you will be using. It can be a powerful tool to add to the arsenal for those of us who are fighting obesity. And it can be a time and money saver for everyone else. Give it a try for a week, and tell me what you think!

Considering My Food "Requests" For Next Week,

- Hawkwind