The 3-Letter Word

The word we will be addressing today is a versatile one. It is used on playgrounds and in comedy clubs to get an immediate emotional reaction, whether laughter or tears. Dieticians and nutritionists argue its value or worthlessness. It is further broken down into "good" and "bad" versions.  Its presence is lauded in certain cuts of meat and denigrated in the human form.

The word I am referring to, of course, is "fat".

So, what the heck IS fat, anyway? I mean, like, scientifically?

Despite what many trainers and late-night infomercials would like you to believe, fat is NOT actually a poison, out to wreck your health and your life. It is actually one of the three "macronutrients" that your body needs to survive (the other two being carbohydrates and protein.) Did you follow that? Needs to survive. Your body is specifically designed to run on a fuel mixture that includes fat.

So, why no love for fat as a concept, then? Mainly because of what fat is designed to do - act as an alternative energy source for our bodies during periods where we can't get enough carbs or protein. When we were wandering from place to place looking for our next meal of carrion and berries or whatever, this was a good thing - the body's fat reserves kept us going until we found our next source of balanced nutrition.

Nowadays, the nearest source of nutrition is the refrigerator. But no one has told the regulator in our brains that we probably don't need to be storing quite as much fat to make it between meals. Add that to our tendency to overeat and under-exercise, and you have our sudden upswing in obesity, heart problems, high blood pressure, and the like.

Not to mention "fat kid" jokes.

The use of the term "fat" as an insult has reached epic proportions these days. Even I tend to use it on these pages in a negative manner, usually referring to myself. But, the fact of the matter is, the body is doing what is was designed to do: store fuel for use later, as an alternative power source. The fact that our society has turned "rail-thin" into the only desirable body standard means that our biological processes are working against our self-image. It is an ugly, ugly situation.

So, what can we do? Start calling things by their proper names, to start with. "Fat" is not a description - it is a nutrient. Obesity, the storage of unhealthy amounts of fat on the human body, is a medical condition, not a source of material for your stand-up routine. Try making fun of people with breast cancer or stroke victims and see how well that does with your target audience. Obesity is the same thing - an illness, a malfunctioning of the body's natural processes.

For my part, I will endeavor to do the same thing - stop using the term "fat" to refer to myself or my condition. Change begins with ourselves, right? For everyone else, do what you can to set the record straight. Encourage those you know who are suffering from obesity to get help. Refuse to engage in banter abut the personal appearance of others. Teach your children that "fat" is not something that others should be shamed for. We should all do what we can, to convert the 3-letter word back to its appropriate usage, and away from the misleading and abusive form that is has taken. Only when we can take control of the concept again can we begin to re-define the issue.

Self-Correcting Behavior Is Hard,

- Hawkwind

A Look Behind The Curtain

Anyone who has spent even a small amount of time following Misdirected knows that I kinda keep things on the DL (Down Low - keeping things hidden, for those who missed the class on Speaking Like The Cool Kids.) I use a pen name, major characters in my life are referred to by nicknames or pronouns, etc. It isn't that I have any particular desire to remain a secret. Far from it, in fact - those who don't know me can work out my real name just from looking at my email address over there to the right somewhere. But I have no wish to expose any one else's life accidentally - as my Mother likes to say, "Those are not my stories to tell." Where my stories intersect with other lives is where I get real nervous about what is safe to talk about.

Imagine my surprise when the love of my life, Loralia, starts speaking to me last night about bringing up a subject that I have specifically left completely unmentioned thus far. Lor is intimately involved with Misdirected - she acts as my copy editor, thesaurus, and memory bank all rolled in to one person. So, she is well aware of anything that I have said or allowed to remain unspoken in these posts. And last night she mentioned to me that I should talk about something pretty relevant to my recent posts. I countered that the information was not really anyone else's business. She was firm: "I don't want anyone to think there is any shame in what we are doing here." I conceded.

So, the news is this: I am actually not going through Bariatric Surgery alone. Lor is also taking part in the process, with her schedule running about 6 weeks ahead of mine. While my surgery will be taking place in August, hers will most likely take place in June.

Our surgery coordinator and our surgeons are delighted - couples that go through the surgery together have a vastly higher long-term success rate than individuals that have to go it alone. With built-in diet monitors and accountability partners right at home, the temptations to fall off the wagon are greatly diminished. And the support system that is required for encouragement and validation? No further than across the dinner table.

Now, this has created some worries in our household. Lor has been a long-time opponent of body-shaming, and has worked diligently for decades with friends, family members and clients to help them to love themselves as they are, rather than cave in to societal expectations of what a "perfect" body should look like. Lor is beautiful and she knows it, and she has helped so many other women understand the beauty they already possess without diets, without input from Vogue and Cosmo, and without...surgery.

But, the hard truth of the matter is that Lor's family has a long history of Diabetes. Lor's family has lost several members to the disease already. And Lor's case of Diabetes has gotten so bad that she recently had to retire from Massage Therapy - her joints and musculature have atrophied so badly that she is in constant pain, unable to do the work she loves any longer. This is hard news for a young woman with many years of life left in front of her. And, one of the best treatments for this disease is - Bariatric Surgery. The decision, for Lor, was not at all about the cosmetic effects of surgery. Same as with me, Lor wants to be able to have some "quality" restored into her Quality of Life.

The two of us found it very odd that, while I was waiting for my initial appointment to be evaluated for surgery, Lor's family practitioner suggested out of the blue that Lor be evaluated as well. Lor's doc was a LOT more aggressive than mine, and moved Lor over into the fast lane, getting her evaluated, approved, and started on the process while I was still waiting for my initial eval. Lor is basically 6 weeks ahead of me on this journey, and I have (selfishly, yes) enjoyed the benefits of being able to see what is coming down the road for me through her eyes.

Thanks again to everyone for your support and interest in this whole process. We both appreciate the encouragement through what has been a pretty mind-blowing process so far.

Envisioning Life Without Diabetes and Arthritis,

- Hawkwind and Loralia