Big Brother Speaks

Chaos and Mayhem in 2008

We've talked a lot here about what family support means to a person who goes through bariatric surgery. Getting some family members or friends "on board" with you dramatically increases your chances of long-term success - just like a lack of support frequently translates into a lack of focus and eventual regain. But, what does family support mean, really?

Though it may come as a surprise to you, it turns out that the great majority of the readers of Misdirected are not current or potential bariatric surgery patients. But most of my readers have someone in their lives who is severely obese, and who is maybe tiptoeing around the concept of bariatric surgery. For the great majority of you, you want to know how to best support the person you care about that is considering tackling this journey, without feeling like you are pointing fingers and shouting "You are SO unhealthy! Have surgery!"

I have spent very little time talking about my family here (excepting Lor, of course) other than obliquely. As I say frequently, those are not my stories to tell. But major changes take place in the lives of those whose loved ones have gone through this process. My brother has been a rock throughout this process for me. He has been a source of encouragement, a fountain of exercise and nutritional information (he is a personal trainer), and someone to whine at when this all seems to be too hard to continue anymore. And, he has recently asked for the opportunity to address the Misdirected audience. 

His unedited comments follow. 

"An open letter to family and friends.

Jeremy, Lor, and I  met as teenagers,  I am mentioned in the blog as Jeremy's brother. His family adopted me as a teen for reasons that don't matter here, but I use as a reference to set the tone. 30 years later, we are still standing through thick and thin. water flowing bright and clean, and dirty and turbulent at times,.Jeremy and Lor have been a part of me through all of it.

The past year has amazed me though. The decision and life changing choice the two of them made has amazed me, and made me so proud. They stepped outside of fear and judgement and made a life for themselves that is so very different from before. I cannot begin to say how this has changed the both of them. I won't say for the better, because, through all of this I have had the honor to see the rough parts of their hearts. Thank you both for everything, and I pray that your journey keeps going forward. 

The reason this is an open letter though is because of this. I saw new smiles on my brother and sister at the party he talked about. I saw that his blog had brought people together. I saw smiles and gleams in the eye that offer new hope. I wish everyone well and wanted to take a moment to applaud you all and offer my congratulations. This is hard work and a  hard line to tow.

I am lucky to have these two in my life. Because of that, I appreciate the people who have taken this journey with them. 

Thank you to all, Jeremy and Lor I love you both and will never be able to convey how impressed and proud of you both that I am."

In case anyone was wondering: this is what supporting your loved one looks like.

Humbled And Lucky To Have Such A Brother,

- Hawkwind