Here, Piggie, Piggie

Photo Credit: Madr@t Flickr via Compfight cc

The conversation last night was unusual, to say the least:

"Oh my God, I ate like a pig today."

"Me, too. I can't believe we ate so much."

"Man, we are going to have to do nothing but protein shakes tomorrow or something."

"Yeah, I totally feel you. We need to keep better track."

"Agreed."

So, what happened to cause this conversation? What horrible dietary sins did we commit? Did we visit Coldstone Creamery? Hit the all-you-can-eat buffet at one of our local casinos? Give in to temptation and each have one of the gigantic breakfast burritos from a local vendor?

In point of fact, no. We did none of those things. Actually, we cooked three meals at home, and each (barely) topped 1,000 calories for the day. Due to the high amount of fresh vegetables we ingested we also both went a little over 60 grams of carbs for the day.

It is a brave, new world that we are living in, post-surgery.

If you had told me a year ago that eating a thousand calories would make me feel bloated, overstuffed and concerned about over-eating, I would have laughed at you. No one can live on 1,000 calories, right? That is, like, anorexia territory, isn't it?

Yeah, apparently not. Once you've got somewhere between 1.5 (for bypass patients) and 4 (for sleeve patients) ounces of stomach to work with, the caloric intake suddenly becomes a LOT less important to you. Now, you are suddenly focusing on protein, protein, protein! (We did fine on our protein numbers yesterday, by the way - Lor had over 60, I topped out at 70.) Limit those carbs, raise that protein level, and the weight will just melt away!

Well, provided that you exercise every day. And take multivitamins every day. And make sure you stay hydrated, since you won't be getting much hydration from food sources anymore. And...

The total mind shift that comes along with surgery is really unexpected. They tell you that you are going to have to think about food differently, but it doesn't really hit you till that day after surgery when you are looking at a plate of 3 tablespoons worth of food and wondering how you are supposed to live on this. Until you keep having to smile and turn down a drink from a friendly waitress so you don't drink while you eat. Until you start carrying a phone app to track every single morsel of everything you ingest in a day.

And, suddenly, a few months later, you are wondering how you were such a pig as to ingest 1,000 calories worth of food. 

Mind. Blown.

Still Think I Need Those Protein Shakes,

- Hawkwind